Closure

Like the clasp on the bracelet pictured here, I finally got closure.  Last week I got to Skype with the ensemble from Morehead after not even getting to say goodbye to them due to the massive snowstorm in Kentucky.  Our entire week of performances was cancelled.  One performance was rescheduled for a date when I had already returned to Chicago.  Great for the students, sad for me. I also sent them a care package with pride bracelets made by Moonshine Gems and cards made by Frances Mayo Photography.  I told them to really take to heart the feedback they received at the post-show talkback.  I agreed with a lot of the critiques and questions posed by the audience, but even the things that we didn't necessarily agree with are important to consider.  But now it's up to the students to take their own show to the next level.  Many of them are interested in editing their personal stories and submitting them to some 10-minute play festivals.  I say go for it!  In a post-show survey I gave the students for feedback on the program, one of them said that they want to "use [their story] to help people on a smaller scale."  I wish all of them the best of luck.  I can't wait to take the feedback from the students and create a better program that I can take to other institutions!  

When asked in the survey what they learned from the experience, one actor said, "I am unsure what to say. I learned a lot about the LGBT community in general, but I feel like I also learned things about myself and my peers that I can't put into words. I guess I furthered my understanding/respect for others' situations. And I think I gained confidence."

Student Blog #5 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Rachael

Now that we are reaching the end of Cleaning Closets I cannot express how grateful I am to be a part of this experience. I have learned so much, not only about the LGBTQ community but about myself. Through this process it has allowed me to realize that a dream I had is obtainable. When I first declared myself as a theatre major my goal was to own my own theatre and use it as a way for children to come to a safe space and express themselves creatively. Thinking this is an unobtainable goal I divulged myself in many different realms of theatre to find where I would be able to excel. Now that I’ve been through this process and have talked to many professionals doing exactly what it is I want to be doing I know that it is a goal I can reach and will do one day. Jonny has helped me so much and I am very grateful to have signed my name up for Cleaning Closets because maybe this confidence and hope wouldn’t have shown itself.

In addition to my own breakthroughs I have seen many for the others in the cast, and I am elated that I was able to be present for these wonderful people. I am now more vocal about the treatment of others and hope to be a more present ally to all of those in the LGTBQ community. This show has so much substance and I hope (because of the weather) audience will be able to enjoy what it is we’ve put together.

Student Blog #4 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Renee

Unfortunately, we were only able to perform the show we had put together once. Due to an enormous amount of snow and ice, we were out of classes for a week. And as classes were cancelled by the University, so were any other events. Honestly, I was worried about the one performance that we did have. We hadn't rehearsed in a week, so I was worried that things wouldn't run very smoothly. We were able to get a rehearsal in just a bit before the show though, and things ran pretty smoothly. After the show, we had a talkback with the audience members. They asked questions or gave their commentary on the show, and I think we received a lot of pointers on what makes our scenes more interesting to the audience. 
This process was so different from anything I have been involved in before, and I'm honestly kinda sad that it's over. Rehearsals were the highlight of my day. I knew no matter how horrible the day had been, I had an amazing group of people that would be surrounding me that evening, making me laugh and cry and realize how many things I have instead of seeing only what I lack. Honestly, even if it sounds kind of cliche, this was an eye opening experience. Many of the people in the cast were not those I would usually cross paths with, and I would have never guessed the struggles they have been through just by seeing them. I'm really glad that I had this opportunity, and I hope that we can all stay in touch.

Student Blog #7 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Alyssa

I think what has become the most challenging part about being an actor/actress in these scenes is that we don't want to let the true stories fade, we don't want to let the writers' visions become blurry, so we try harder to understand our roles. We have become much more than a cast and crew, we have become a safe haven for each other. It is remarkable how far everyone has come. 

I will miss our Love Bucket, where we shared our thoughts and feelings toward what we learned each rehearsal. I will miss sitting In my bright yellow chair watching the scenes in front of me unfold, but most of all I will miss seeing the friends I have made here. Of course I will see them after the shows are done, but it was great to work on this beautiful project with everyone. We all stood up for something we felt so strongly about, something that our director Jonathan started. This project to share the

stories from the LGBT community  also helped us create a bond together that can never be broken. 

Student Blog #9 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Samuel

My experience with Cleaning Closets has truly been magical. I would not trade the memories and friendships I have made during this process for anything in the world. I just feel like there is something so special and so unique about people who are struggling with similar issues coming together and sharing their stories. I am truly amazed at the strength and the courage the cast members have shown throughout this process. I am so proud that we were all able to dig so deep inside ourselves and pull out things that may be a little painful. 

Jonathan Mayo is truly a remarkable man. I have personally felt like I have learned so much from him in the short time he has been here. Not only is he an incredible mentor, but I am so proud to call him a friend. It was so easy to see how much he deeply cared for us and this project. Sadly, the weather put a little bit of a damper on our performance week, but we fortunately get to perform the show tonight and I am overjoyed that the public is going to see this awesome show we have created compiled of such interesting and moving stories. My heart is broken that Jonathan will not be here with us but I know we will all be putting everything we have learned from him to the test and our performance tonight is definitely dedicated to him. We could not have done it without him. I honestly hope to be half the man he is one day. 
 
Cleaning Closets is a beautiful project. I look forward to watching this grow and grow in years to come. I hope that down the line I will get to sit in the audience at another university or wherever Jonathan decides to take it and watch other people's stories come to life the way we have brought our stories to life. I will carry Cleaning Closets in my heart for the rest of my life and hopefully can utilize what I have learned from this experience in my theatre career for years to come. 
 
Remember to always Live, Laugh and Love!!!!

Student Blog #11 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Rikki

Now that it's time for the show, I'm really excited about how it turned out. I'm glad that it's turned into sketch instead of a stage reading, because I think it's a lot more fun this way. I hope the people who come to see the show feel the same.

It's been a great experience working with everyone, and I've learned so much. Not just new vocabulary either; I've learned more about myself. The process of Cleaning Closets has opened my eyes to a lot of new things. It's also been a very fun process. I'm grateful to have been a part of it. The things that I've learned during Cleaning Closets will be with me for the rest of my life.

Student Blog #6 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Pierce

It seems like no time at all has passed since my last blog, although it has been over a week.  It’s a cliche, I know, but time flies when you’re having fun.  Though it has been fun, we have been working devotedly to weave our stories together as comprehensively and entertainingly as possible.  The final product is bound to be a true masterpiece.

Our show features the full gamut of emotion: fear, laughter, sorrow, love, anger, and self-realization.  The audience will experience the joy of acceptance, the sting of rejection, and the triumph of self-realization.  I, and the rest the amazing cast, can’t wait to present this one-of-a-kind production.

Student Blog #12 pt. 2

by Guest Writer Jordan

So, it is two nights before the show opens [as I'm writing this]. I am very excited about what the show is going to be. This has been a very amazing process. We have taken our fourteen stories and condensed them into an hour long stage play about a bunch of high-schoolers. I have never been more proud about getting a show on its feet. I look forward to opening night. If anyone else has a chance to experience this process, I recommend it greatly. Thank you for reading!

Student Blog #12

by Guest Writer Jordan

When I first heard of Cleaning Closets I wasn't really interested in it. I did not have a very interesting coming out story, and I have always felt that your sexuality should not be made a big deal, it is merely a part of you. I define my sexuality, my sexuality does not define me, the saying goes.

    I was pushed into going to the writing workshop by a friend, and there is where saw what the project really was. This was when I got excited, yet nervous. “What if I am not good enough?” “What if he does not want to use my story?” “I am only a freshman, I don’t know these people, what if they don’t like me?” “What if I don’t fit in with the other actors?” These were all thoughts that were swimming through my head before the auditions.

    But now we are three weeks into rehearsal and I feel as though I have known this ensemble my whole life. We have become not just friends but close ones. We know each other’s stories and connect with each other on a level that I would never have imagined.

    The actual rehearsal process itself is very different than anything I have done before. I have been working in theatre for eleven years, and I thought I knew all about the different rehearsal processes. But this was something different. We weren’t just rehearsing and becoming better actors, we were writing. Writing our stories, watching others' stories, learning from each other’s experience and in turn becoming better people. Whether it was dancing to build our sense of openness with the ensemble or picking up my fellow actor and using her like a battering ram to break my way out of a pantomimed jail, everything we did had a lasting effect on me not only as an actor but as a person.

    I would like to thank Jonathan for bringing this wonderful program to Morehead State University and giving me this opportunity to learn and grow in this environment.

Student Blog #10

by Guest Writer Zack

This journey has been an incredible experience. At the beginning of the rehearsal process I was nervous because I didn't think my story was good enough, and I didn't have the courage to stand up and say it in front of people. Some people still don't know that I have a story to tell. 

As the rehearsal process continued, I learned that I'm not alone. Others are in the same boat--traveling the same rough river.  [Them] sharing [their] stories allowed me to appreciate those people and applaud them because they have the courage and strength that I don't have.  

I have also learned to have more courage in myself and allow myself to share more personal stories that I haven't shared with anyone in my life. Allowing myself to share those stories with my cast mates I have gained trust which is essential for an ensemble in a theatrical production. 

I have built another family. This is a new family on my tree that I love dearly, and I'm so glad that I have gotten to work with them because I didn't know some of them and now when I see them we stop and chat. This is what I needed in order to continue growing and expanding my story because you need a family that will support you.

I'm so blessed to have been given this opportunity to grow and learn about subjects that I haven't even heard of or it was hard to talk to someone about.

Love Ya.
See Ya.
BYE!

Student Blog #9

by Guest Writer Samuel

When I initially heard about Cleaning Closets last May I was instantly excited and intrigued. As someone who is newly openly gay I was excited by the idea of being surrounded by people who have experienced the same things I have and are dealing with the struggles I have faced and am still facing. I am very passionate about equality and gay rights. I am the first person to say being gay is not easy. It involves a lot of fear, tears, and anxiety. With that said, I want people to know how hard it really is for people who are gay or bi or what have you. People like us face hardships everyday and yet people will say its a choice. I know I would not personally choose to make my life harder everyday. That is one thing I want people to take away from this show once it actually goes up. I want people to see just what really goes through someones head who is dealing with this. People who battle with coming out of the closet often are suicidal, turn to drugs and people don't realize that. They continue to tear us down. 

I love this whole cast and Jonathan so very much. I have already learned so much about this group of people. I feel so welcomed and loved when I am with them every night at rehearsal. Every time we close that therapeutic threshold it is like we are all escaping from the real world to a place of true love and acceptance. I find myself amazed everyday by the new stories that the cast shares. I have learned so much about these people that I would have never suspected. What I love most is all though we are all from totally different walks of life and backgrounds we all fit together like the prettiest puzzle you have ever seen. 

I look forward to seeing how the show grows from now until opening night. I just hope that everyone who sees this show sees the beauty in it like we do. I hope to change someone's life in the audience even if it is only one person. I hope that someone may be in the audience who is struggling with coming out and that they can find the strength to come out and love themselves for exactly who they are because of our show. 

Remember to always Live. Laugh. Love. 

Student Blog #8

by Guest Writer Dana

Cleaning Closets wasn’t a project that I really understood. I went in thinking that you either had to have a coming out story or a story of someone coming out to you. While that is how the audition process went, I would have never imagined the diversity and the different walks of life among our cast members. 

Everyday I go to rehearsal I learn something new, and that to me, by itself is an amazing thing. I have learned so many things so far I cannot wait to see what happens in the next month. I’ve learned and realized more about me in these two weeks than I ever thought was possible. It is a very comforting, and sometimes unsettling, process. I am so happy to be a part of it and as the days fly by I am even more excited to see how this production is going to unfold.  We deserve to tell our stories and that’s exactly what we plan to do.

Student Blog #7

by Guest Writer Alyssa

I am unbearably excited for performance week! I've been in many plays but this experience is just so different. The process of writing and creating what we will be sharing with the audience is exciting, because we control the message the audience gets to encounter. Jonathan has truly created something amazing. 

This production is sure to change lives, I know it has already taken a toll on mine. When I first auditioned for Cleaning Closets I didn't expect at all to create such a bond with everyone. I don't really let a lot of people in on my feelings, but when I'm with my fellow cast mates I feel like I can share my entire life story! It's such a relief knowing that we are creating this magnificent collaboration of stories to share with an audience. We have laughed, cried, smiled, and have had breakthroughs during our rehearsal process, all because we're not scared to face our past together. I've learned so much from each and every one of these beautiful people, and surprisingly myself. 

Student Blog #4

by Guest Writer Renee

To tell the truth, I wasn't going to audition for this show. I didn't know if I would even be able to be in it, because I am currently not completely out. When I decided to audition, it was literally a last minute thing. That was about a week ago, and I am so glad that I followed my impulse. This process is a bit new to me. I am used to walking into rehearsal and having a script immediately. At the moment, it's all about sharing stories and ideas and our viewpoints. We are not only building an ensemble, we are creating alliances and forming friendships.  I feel like I have another group of people that I can call my family. I had no clue going into this process of nightly rehearsals that I would find so much strength and support from people I hadn't even known in just one week. Walking into rehearsal and seeing everyone is the highlight of my day. Being able to just sit in a circle and talk to people and have them really listen, and to really listen to them in return is one of the most simple and most beautiful things I have ever been a part of. I have gained insight on different perspectives and discovered things about myself that I hadn't really understood. Because of the support of this cast, I had the courage to come out to my Grandmother. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with being fully out, but I know that I have already made progress just from having people who understand my situation, or sympathize with it around me. I am very ready to see where this can take not only me, but also the rest of our group. We don't know what we will create yet. Our show and our futures are still unwritten. I know we will make them Beautiful.

Student Blog #2

By Guest Writer Sara

To begin with I was a bit hesitant and unsure about the events that would happen through this process. As a theatre major and art major I have always tried to be a very open person with expressing myself. However, as a person that started college with extreme social anxiety and the distrust of other people it has been a very difficult journey.

I have found that in the theatre I have established a type of family with the people that I learn and work with every day. So I have been progressively coming out of my shell more around these people and being myself.

With this production I have found myself in a new type of family. This family is full of people that I may not know that well yet, but I still trust them more than I ever thought was possible in my entire life. I'm excited to see where things will be at the end of the semester and I am very appreciative of this experience and for Jonathan for making all of this possible.

 

Sorry It's Been So Long

Sometimes I wish I could just spend all day crafting my art because I have so many project ideas I want to work on. But that doesn't exactly pay the bills and I have a responsibility to my household to at least keep our utilities from getting shut off. So when it comes time to prioritize my projects, it's extremely hard especially when the inspiration for one idea comes but I'm supposed to be focused on a different project.
For instance, I've been writing a separate play outside of Cleaning Closets for a while now, but my priority is the script for the web series and my lesson plans for MSU. So sometimes my other script must fall to the wayside. But when the inspiration for other projects hits, I can't ignore it and risk losing it all. So I have to start writing down ideas for those projects. Now I also need to start working on the editing for the film documentary.  But trust me when I say it'll all get done!  The good thing is I can set my own deadlines, but I don't want to keep pushing things off either.  Oh the life of an artist.  

I Am Not A Slacker

I have a meeting with one of the producers of the web series next week to edit the script.  Sometimes I feel like I'm so far behind because this script (which will double as a stage play and then be adapted into the web series) has been in the making for two years now.  That seems like such a long time.  But with work and other projects and my collaborators' schedules, it's not easy to create.  But I am constantly thinking about the project whether or not I'm actually writing something down.  But different artists work at different paces and have different processes.  That's just something I have to keep reminding myself.  Besides, I want the product to be the best that it can be.

Interview Skills

So this project is really the first experience I’ve had conducting interviews, so there’s a lot to be learned.  And interviewing people for the film documentary is even more difficult because you’re capturing everything on video.  And when I say everything, I do mean everything—including yourself.  This means I have to be careful not to talk over the storytellers so as to keep their stories clear on the audio tracks.  But as an interview I want to be sure I’m personable and conversational so as to keep the storyteller at ease.  You also want to be sure that you’re giving them enough time to react because a film is both audio and visual.  Thank goodness my film partner has a lot of experience behind the camera because she gave me some great advice.  Just give them more time in between questions to have reactions because sometimes they’ll even keep going and reveal some really candid moments.  Looking back at some of the footage I collected on my own, I was afraid I wasn’t asking the right questions.  My film partner said my questions are great, but I’m cutting into their honest moments.  There was one time in particular we could see that I had a question and was no longer focusing on what the storyteller was saying.  She advised me to keep a notebook and write those questions down and ask them once the storyteller finishes their anecdotes.  The sad part is, I was keeping a notebook with me!  However, it’s a difficult balance to stay engaged in their story without missing important information while also writing down a question and not be distracting.  I guess I’m not as good at multitasking as I thought.  Thank goodness I have a great film partner who’s already on the same page as me with the editing process! 

Tearful Teaser

My friend Charli and I finished editing the teaser for the film documentary last night.  It's going to premiere at Cleaning Closets: A Night of Storytelling on September 27th.  It's crazy how long it took us to edit a teaser that's just under two minutes.  But we were also being very compulsive trying to get the cuts just right.  We're proud of it, and when we watched the finished product, it made us teary-eyed.  There are light moments and serious moments, and it left us wanting more.  We hope our audiences feel the same, especially because we're also going to use the teaser as a starting point for the promo on our crowd sourcing campaigns as well as for the full length trailer.  You won't want to miss the sneak peak at Cleaning Closets: A Night of Storytelling.